But honestly, I've struggled with alot of things lately. Although I'm thankful that I have a job when so few people I graduated with do (plus the fact its related to what I majored in), I'm not...how do I say this...stimulated in a creative way??
I spent the last two years of my college career overseeing seven other people who were conducting events, planning the biggest/most expensive events on campus, publicizing all of those events, and overseeing a budget of $130,000. I was also a part of all major decisions regarding campus life, maintaining my 3.89 GPA, hanging out with friends, serving on extracurricular activities, working at PR/Events internship, and for the most part having fun in a relationship. I was awarded the best mass communication senior award, the leadership award and graduated with honors.
And what do I do now? Nothing compared to that.
Yes, I do important things. I carry out the daily marketing/PR needs for where I work. But I have no creative outlet in it. Occasionally I come up with projects for myself that are approved and given permission to carry out, but on a regular basis I don't do anything that anyone else couldn't do.
And I don't want this to come across as complaining, because it's not. I recognize that I need to serve my time as the grunt person. I will fetch the coffee, file the papers and do the crap work. I knew what I was getting into and I'm extremely lucky because other people are doing worse, and I'm actually given more responsibility because I interned there for a year and they trust me with higher level projects.
But frankly, I'm bored. I want to be in the meetings deciding on the fate of my institution. I want to decide how the marketing budget is being spent, and be the person who in power lunches is leading the conversation when our ad rep asks what our marketing plan is. I want to know that when I start a project, the powers that be will not swoop in at the end and finish it. I want to be completely stressed out, with no time on my hands, dealing with the bureaucratic bullshit that is unnecessary.
I want to be that person!
Hopefully I will be at some point. Frankly, I know I will be at some point. But right now, I need to put in the time that I owe and soak up everything like a sponge.
If there's anything that I've learned, it's that I will never work at a job that I can't stand.
I will not work to live. I will live to work.
I just need to put in the time/find the job that will allow me to do that.
