A Year in Pictures

I've decided in honor of 2009, one of the worst (personal) and best (professional) years of my life, I will post some of my favorite pics from the last year. So here we go!

The roomies at Erica's 22nd birthday during the "Arctic Blast"

Brookey and I at the Boys II Men concert at Spirit Mountain Casino

Wifey and I toasting my 22nd birthday with our signature drink.

The three best roommates of all time at Amber's 22nd birthday party.

Mae and I at our favorite, PF Changs.

Amber and Jana Banana at Studio 54 in Las Vegas

Wes, Heather, me, Brooke and Keldy at our last student government retreat

Me and Lobo, my childhood friend, at our college graduation

Amber and I wondering where Erica is this fall?

Amber and I at her going away party at McFaddens in Portland

Krista and I in her apartment at Homecoming.

E and I in Sonoma this fall

LBP, Court, Me and Jana Banana at Court's 23rd birthday party at Cowgirls Inc. in Seattle

Farewell 2009, and hello 2010!!!!

Unapologetically Me

Sorry about the lack of blog updates lately! I've been super busy between work, friends, the holiday season, visiting my dad in Pennsylvania, and E moving back to Oregon.

Speaking of which, E gave me the most beautiful necklace for Christmas! 

I think it is absolutely gorgeous and I see both of us in the necklace. The diamond obviously represents me, and the knot represents him. Practically every activity he loves involves knots in some way, whether it is fly fishing, spear fishing, or some other activity I can't remember off the top of my head. But, I love it and I was completely surprised when he gave it to me. 

On a different note, I decided that this year I am going to unapologetically be me. I feel like for the last couple years, I've acted in a certain way that has been defined by what people will think about me. And I have decided I'm going to change that starting now.

Although my friends, family or complete strangers may not agree with my choices or think that I'm making a bad decision, the only one whose opinion counts is my own. If I'm happy with the choices I've made then that is all that matters. I will no longer be afraid of being judged. I will do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and people can just deal with that. My true friends and the people that really do care about me will support me no matter what. And those are the people that I want in my life. 

I did not mean to go off on such a rant, but that's the New Year's resolution that I am going to definitely keep this year. 

Marriage and Kids

I just found out that someone I went to high school with is married and pregnant. She's Mormon, but that is not the point.

Someone who is the same age as me is PREGNANT.

I haven't had to deal with this yet in my life. And it's not like I even know the girl or kept in touch with her, although she was in my prom group. 

I used to dream about being a mom. I would tell people that I was not sure what I wanted to do career-wise, but that I knew I wanted to be a mom. Now the idea of even being in a serious relationship makes me have a minor panic attack.

I can barely even take care of myself! How could I possibly support my husband, let alone a child! I told someone the other day that I am not nearly mature enough to be married and I truly mean it. 

God, am I more mature for realizing that, or am I actually immature? For my own sanity, I will go with mature.  

Civil War

I've been a terrible blogger lately and I apologize!

I'm writing this during the second half of the Civil War game. I feel like I would be a bad Oregonian if I did not watch it, even though I'm not a major fan of either team. I usually support the Beavers during the Civil War, but I feel like the Ducks would have a better chance of winning in the Rose Bowl, and E is bribing me with Ducks gear if I start supporting his team (he keeps referring to Oregon as "our Ducks").

I haven't been in the mood to do much of anything right now. I haven't worked out, or worked on Christmas gifts, or visited with friends. I think it's my massive commute from McMinnville to Beaverton, which cuts out two hours of my day, along with the increasingly depressing winter weather. Apparently we might get snow next week, which would be great, except I'm not thrilled for another "arctic blast."

So, nothing too exciting. Oooh the game is starting again. I will make sure to write more frequent blog entries from now on! Go Oregon (the state, not the team. I'm cheering for this great state as a whole right now). And I know the head ref for the game, and I'm hoping that everything goes smoothly and no one hates him by the end of the 4th quarter. 

Picture Wall

Here are the results of my decorating rampage last weekend. Ignore the little picture at the bottom. That was a result of me not counting right, and ending up one short. I will remedy that sometime soon.

Tyrone Wells

Last night I went to see Tyrone Wells at the Aladdin Theater in southeast Portland. In case you did not know, Tyrone Wells is an up and coming musician who just had one of his newest songs featured in the commercial for the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy. 

To be a Linfield student is to pretty much love Tyrone Wells. He played three out of the four years I was at Linfield, and I was pretty much responsible for bringing him two of those times. Practically two-thirds of the audience last night were Linfield alumni, and there probably would have been more current students, but they were most likely assuming that he'd be on campus again in the near future.

As I was sitting there, listening to him sing songs that are as familiar to me as my beloved Matchbox Twenty songs, I reflected back on the various memories that these songs brought to mind.

I was first introduced to his music by my brand new (at the time) boyfriend my sophomore year of college. We both bonded over his songs, especially "Seabreeze," and although the bf was not able to attend my first Tyrone concert, I was texting him throughout the whole thing, especially during that song. 

"Seabreeze" became our song. And let's be honest, Chris was a pretty romantic boyfriend. So that song was on every mixed CD he made for me. It was my ringtone for when he called. We danced to it on every birthday and anniversary that we shared. Any time that the two of us were spending time together and felt truly and amazingly in love, we put on that song. 

At that point in time, "Seabreeze" was such a huge symbol of the love and the dreams that we had for that relationship.

But then things started to go downhill.

Things were not going as well for us, and we were fighting all the time. The second semester of my junior year was frankly one of the worst times of my life, and practically ruined what we had together. Neither of us cheated and we still had a massive amount of love for each other, but he became self absorbed and was only interested in what made him the happiest. 

So that song became a symbol of everything that I had lost in that relationship. The shattered dreams and expectations and security that I had, that at least one aspect of my life was figured out. Other people might not know who their soulmate was, but I did, and that was taken away from me.

The second time I saw Tyrone was at the end of my junior year, and I was actually sitting with Chris. We were currently "on" in our "on and off again relationship." But I remember sitting there with the guy I had thought at one point I was going to spend the rest of my life with and listening to this song that had meant so much to both of us, and feeling cheated. Wanting to reach out and hold his hand, and not feeling secure enough to do that. 

Chris and I went through an awful stage after that. We barely spoke and I had pretty much lost all respect for him. I've gained some of that back now. We are friends, and I know that we will always have a connection that will never go away.

So as I listened to Tyrone Wells sing "Seabreeze" last night, I tried to analyze what I felt. And...I'm still not sure. There was a part of me that was mentally urging the song to end. But, there was also another part of me that was looking back fondly on the good memories that it brought to mind. It did not bring me to my knees in pain, but it sure as hell did not bring a smile to my face, like one of his other songs that reminded me of van ride back from the coast with my good friend and old roommate Mae.

So maybe I have moved on...or maybe not. Maybe enough time has not yet passed. But I will always have a special place in my heart for Tyrone Wells and "Seabreeze."

But that doesn't mean that I didn't press the skip button when it came on during my morning commute today. 

Decorating

I'm a little obsessed with decorating my apartment right now. I get these great ideas from various blogs, and then I go to Target or some place to buy what I need to create that look, and can't bring myself to buy anything! It is sooooo frustrating.

Here's something that I want to do with my little dining area (I'm referring to the pictures):

Halloween 2009

This was a pretty tame Halloween in comparison to the last few ones I've celebrated. But, in my usual manner, I will recount the highlights and lowlights in a list format.

1. After no time to shop this week, I changed my original costume idea of an 80s girl to a punk rock fairy. Ironically, I found more components of the costume in one location then I ever would have with the 80s outfit.

2. I learned the scientific way to shotgun a beer. It was very informative.

3. The group I went with took the city bus from their apartment to 3rd Street in Portland. It was the craziest bus ride, which consisted of a catholic priest with a cabbage patch doll attached to his "private" area and a tiny gay guy dressed as Tinkerbell. Every time someone who wore a costume stepped on the bus, we would cheer and high five him/her. Eventually the bus driver was joining in with us. 

4. Two police officers gave us directions to McFaddens, our bar of choice for the night.

5. I was hit on by multiple zombies. Apparently zombies were totally into my punk rock fairy look.

6. My fairy wings started to get droopy throughout the night, which turned out to be a great conversation starter.

7. A zombie started dancing with me about halfway through the night. He was a terrible dancer, and the dancing ended when he started grinding his "private" area on me. He did give me a free bacardi rum t-shirt though. That was nice.

That's about it for the night's recaps. Definitely not too exciting. Although a tame Halloween where I was actually able to drive home at the end of the night was pretty refreshing. 

Jet Setting

This weekend I made a somewhat spontaneous trip to northern California to visit E. 

I flew down into San Francisco on Thursday night, and E picked me up and drove us to Windsor where he lives. It was more interesting than I expected because we drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, which I had never done before. Although it was dark and I could not see anything, I knew that I was making a memory that I could look back on for the rest of my life. I love when that happens!

The rest of the weekend was filled with great food, warm weather and exciting visits to all the places that E frequents on a weekly basis. It meant so much to me because for the first time I felt like we were almost a normal couple, which we've never been.

I was also introduced to the spear fishing/diving community. E is ridiculously into spear fishing and free diving, and spent almost the entire weekend recounting diving trips, showing me where he goes diving and introducing me to his diving buddies. It was fascinating and completely foreign to me. When I look at the freezing cold waters of the northern California coast, I have no desire to delve into their depths. Yet, E spends as much time as possible in the water (although he told me he gets ridiculously sea sick and sometimes vomits when he first gets in the water. But then he's fine, which makes no sense to me). Although I sometimes felt out of place because I had no idea what him and his friends were talking about (let's remember that my mother is allergic to shellfish and my family never ate seafood), it was fun to learn about something completely foreign to me.  

The Sonoma area is famous for its vineyards, and no trip there would be complete without wine tasting. So on Sunday, E and I decided to stop by one or two wineries before I left later that day. But of course, nothing can ever go smoothly with the two of us. E had told me that the Korbel Champagne headquarters were in the Sonoma area, so that was our first stop. Unfortunately, E's drivers license was denied! Here's the explanation: when E first moved down to Windsor in July, he had to receive a drivers license before he was able to start working. But, he had not finalized his living arrangements, so the DMV told him it was acceptable to put his Oregon address on his California license. The person in charge of the Korbel champagne tasting, however, refused to accept it because he thought it was a fake. So, E was not able to participate in any of the tastings, and I was not interested if he could not partake with me. 

The wine tasting was not a complete bust though. We stopped by Martinelli's Vineyards (not the same company as Martinelli's sparkling cider, but they do sell apples to that company which is also located in the Sonoma area), and tasted chardonnay, pinot gris, zinfandel and a few other types that I cannot remember off the top of my head. Apparently zinfandel is as popular in Sonoma as pinots are in the Willamette Valley. And yes, they did not even card us so the license was not an issue. Nor was it an issue with any of the wine tastings he has been on before, or the numerous times he has purchased alcohol at a bar or the grocery store. 

Overall, I had a great weekend and feel soooo much better about certain things involving E. I'm glad I took the time to jet set down there. 

I'm thinking that my next weekend trip will be to Austin, Texas with my graduation walking buddy from high school. I've heard such great things about that city!

Glee It Up

I absolutely love Glee. It is the most amazing show of all time, and I am so pumped to watch it again in 40 minutes. I am currently listening to the Glee version of "Hate On Me." Love it.

Keepin' It Classy

Yesterday, I attended my first college Homecoming as an alumnus. 

I knew it would be an epic experience, and it was, more so for other people than for me. I can honestly say that I was in a constant state of tipsiness from about noon to 9 p.m. I was never drunk, nor was I ever completely sober. I knew I had to work the next day, so I was pretty careful to not have too wild of a night. But, I have felt extremely tired today, as if I had ran a marathon the day before. Here are some highlights/lowlights from my experience:

1. My friend and I finished two pitchers of Ruby from McMenamins by noon.

2. I also tried a Bloody Mary for the first time. I took one sip and gave it away. I think it would have been delicious had I used it as a marinade for a steak, but not to drink.

3. I paid $8 to get into a football game that I watched for a maximum of 35 minutes.

4. A friend of mine who moved to LA told me his story about watching porn and almost having a foursome.

5. I tried pumpkin spice ale.

6. A bouncer told me that I have a beautiful name.

7. I went to McMenamin's again later that night, but only had half a beer because I developed the hiccups.

8. Some super-drunk girl said that she was going to beat the crap out of me at McMenamin's because I took too long in the bathroom. 

9. The dance "club" I went to later that night was the most packed I've ever seen it.

10. I left at 1 a.m. because I was tired and it was far too crowded. 

11. The walk from 3rd Street to the campus is sooo much longer when you're sober than when you're drunk.

12. I spent the night in my friend's apartment by myself. FYI, there should have been two other people there with me. Those two people rolled in at 7 and then 8 a.m. One of them had a 30 minute walk of shame.

13. I went to work an hour earlier than I needed to because I did not want to hear any more details from their late night excursions.

Overall, I had a pretty decent time, although I don't think that I will attend Homecoming next year. It was sort of odd how easily we all slipped back into the routine of walking around campus, attending sporting events and then going to the local bars. Even when I was walking to my car in the morning, I instinctively headed to the post office to check my mailbox.

But, I'm glad that I kept it classy last night, rather than went the trashy. I never want to be THAT alumni. 

My Favorite Restaurant

I just ate my entire order of PF Chang's take out. The entire thing. The lettuce wraps, Peking dumplings and the Singapore Street Noodles.

I had promised myself I would only eat the appetizers and save the noodles for tomorrow! I hate when this happens. I have absolutely no self control when it comes to food. None. Or beverages for that matter. Starbucks, another glass of wine, a Dr. Pepper, anything and I struggle with turning it down. 

Well, looking on the bright side, at least I have a chance of eating healthy tomorrow, rather than finishing my leftovers at lunch. 

Side note: I was thinking about attending my first college Homecoming this weekend, and I had the weirdest urge to drink a Coors Light. I'm sure that will happen.

Crazy Friday Night - and not in the usual way

Friday night was definitely one of the more interesting nights I've had in awhile.

I went with a few of my friends to see the 8 o'clock showing of Couples Retreat at Bridgeport Village in Tigard. Upon arriving there, we discovered that it was sold out and the next showing was at 10:10. I was not particularly in the mood to wait that long, especially since I was supposed to work relatively early the next morning, but in the heat of the moment, when the admissions girl was glaring at me with impatience, I panicked and decided to just buy the ticket. 

As I walked away from the ticket counter, immediately regretting my decision, I saw a 17 year old guy to my right, start to collapse on the ground right next to me. And by collapse, I mean he fell backwards and did not reach out to catch himself, so his head hit the pavement and made one of the worst sounds I've ever heard. It was apparent from the way he fell that this was not some drunken stumble, but a serious medical issue.

My two friends who majored in exercise science, plus the guy we were with, rushed forward and tried to help him up, but he started to collapse again and have a mini-seizure. They placed him on the ground and immediately called 911.

A small crowd, which consisted of another couple who saw him fall, the theater manager and a nurse that was in line, started to form around us. The guy was conscious, but disoriented and did not remember falling. 

The nurse started asking him questions, what he ate that day, was he taking any antibiotics, did he partake in any illegal activities such as drugs or alcohol (to which he responded "not that day"). Finally, after being on hold with the 911 operators, two ambulances showed up and paramedics rushed over to take control of the situation (and surprisingly they actually did "rush." Any time I've seen paramedics they seem to be strolling and never in a hurry). 

We eventually found out that his blood sugar was dangerously low due to a large amount of exercise that day with very little eating. They gave him powdered glucose and he started to feel better. 

After making sure that he was taken care of, we decided to grab some happy hour grub at McCormick and Schmicks (none of us had eaten any dinner, and after witnessing that medical ordeal, we thought it was important to get some food in us). Two buckets of beer later, plus edamame for me, we headed back to the theater in much better spirits.

But alas, our happy spirits were not to last. First, we were kicked out of the theater because they had forgotten to clean it from the last showing (to which the drunk guy in our group insisted to the theater manager that we didn't need to leave because we saved the low blood sugar guy's life earlier). Then we filed back in, but the fire alarms went off, and they told us to leave again. Finally they went off and we sat back in our seats, but five minutes into the movie, the projectionist apparently bumped the projector and the movie image flew off the screen and landed crazily on the ceiling. After another two minutes, he managed to get it back on the screen where it belonged. 

It was very stressful, and I'm not sure the movie was worth it in the long run. But, hey, it was a good story...

Sunday Night Musings

What I love about this particular Sunday night:

1. A brisk fall night outside

2. A warm cozy apartment 

3. Homemade chili on the stove

4. Shaniqwa cuddling with me on the couch

5. A calming Starbucks CD I picked up that includes Tyrone Wells and Adele (yay for Tyrone! And for an artist that reminds me of my London trip!)

6. All my laundry done

7. All my cupboards stocked with food

8. My romance lights twinkling from my spiral staircase

9. An Espresso Truffle on the coffee table in front of me

10. The feeling that I might not know what life will bring me over the next few months, but that I am at peace right now.

I love simple Sunday nights.

Consider Me Gone

This song by Reba McEntire titled "Consider Me Gone" explains a certain aspect of my life perfectly right now.

Verse: 1
Every time i turn the conversation to something deeper than the weather i can feel you all but shuttin' down.
And when i need an explanation for the silence you just tell me you don't wanna talk about it now.

Bridge: 1
What you're not saying is coming in loud and clear we're at a crossroads here...

Chorus:
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done
Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone

Verse 2:
With you i've always been wide open like a window or an ocean. there is nothing i've ever tried to hide.
So when you leave me not knowin' where you're goin' i start thinkin' that we're lookin' we're lookin' at goodbye.

Bridge 2:
How about a strong shot of honesty don't you owe that to me...

Chorus:
If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done
Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone.

Consider me a memory.
Consider me the past.
Consider me a smile in an old photograph someone who used to make you laugh.

If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
Then i guess we're done let's not drag this on.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Consider me gone.
Just consider me gone. 

Excited for October

So, I started this blog because: 

1. I've always wanted to start a blog (and I finally have the time to write one without stressing about what I should be doing instead), and 

2. Because I want to stay in contact with my dos amigos who are BOTH living abroad right now.

So, we'll see how this goes.

This weekend, my long lost sister is visiting. She has been living in Chicago for the last year, and I have not seen her since last April. Hopefully it will be a weekend full of food, fun and drinks!

Speaking of which, I am soooo excited for the month of October!! Here is why:

1. My sister is visiting.

2. I have a tentative trip to Sunriver planned!

3. My first college Homecoming weekend is this month, and a lot of my friends are going back

4. Halloween is this month! Another tentative plan, go to a margarita costume party at a ceramic painting place with some co-workers.

I'm pumped. But, I wish my dos amigos would be here...

I am also excited because I want to visit my Wifey in Chile (or maybe Argentina, which I didn't realize was an option) this summer when I finally have vacation time. And then I found out that I get major airfare discounts through the company that I work for, so hopefully it won't be that expensive of a trip. Awesome! Maybe Ambidextrous will come with me...